ApocaTips

Recession Hits Ethernet Switch Market

But Ethernet’s my second-favorite protocol! And Switch is my second-favorite Jimmy Smits movie!

Octopus floods Santa Monica Pier Aquarium

The cephalopod menace believes it can strike us while we’re weak. The response to this should be swift and merciless.

We should invade Atlantis at our earliest convenience.

Lobby your governmental representatives and KEEP WATCHING THE OCEANS!

I normally don’t like linking to Mr. Mann because of his repeated mockery of the tried-and-true Internet monetization methodologies of SEO, Always Be Linking™ and goatees. But in this case I’ll make an exception and link to this recent Tumblr post of his to discuss its disturbing implications.

It’s well-known that the increased popularity of hillbilly music is a leading indicator of a coming economic mega-collapse (see: Great Depression). If this trend continues, we’ll all be up to our asses in Woody Guthrie MP3s before April. I suggest you all watch for signs of hillbilly music creeping into popular culture and resist it at all costs.

If this economy is going to turn around, we need to start listening to growth music. I suggest putting on some metal and playing it really, really loud.

Update: via Jeff Carlson on the Twitter, here’s a handy chart of metal band names. Jeff cares about this country and is part of the solution. Are you part of the solution?

ALERT! As of last night, Zunes appear to be failing at an alarming rate. This might be easily written off as a predictable glitch in a product fraught with problems and bad marketing and, oh, jeez, just not being well-thought out from the git go (also, brown).

OR, it might be a canary in the coal mine, a harbinger of doom, woe, pestilence and plague.

Not that we really needed one.

STAY ALERT! If you see ANY of your household products failing – toasters, microwave ovens, French coffee presses, what have you – please post in the comments!